Pulled From The Pit

"Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name….He redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.”   Psalm 103:1,4

“Back to reality”.  That was the status of a friend of mine on Facebook this morning.  What is reality?  It was 6 months ago today that my dear friend, Deanna, lost her battle with cancer, but gained victory over death.  Those of us who loved her had our reality changed, we have a new reality.   For me, it has been a very different 6 months.  I have sunk to the pit of depression, though few people knew it, because I really isolated myself from other people.  The pain was very deep, much deeper than I imagined it would be.  And I let very few people into my life, withdrawing from many people.

Recently I was asked to share the story of our friendship with a group of women.  I realized during the writing of that talk, that God has healed me much more than I even realized.  Right after Deanna died, I vowed I would never become that close to someone again.  It was just too painful to think about.  The pain of losing someone that you love so much and was such a big part of your life was much greater than I even realized. 

Two days ago as I shared this story with these women and spent time with these good friends as we prepare for a spiritual weekend that we are working at in a few weeks.  I realized the truth of the words that Alfred Lord Tennyson's wrote:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all

I am humbled and amazed at the realization over the weekend that God has healed my broken heart much more than I even imagined.  I rejoice that I have felt that love, even though I “lost” it (for a time).  As I laughed, talked and cried with these women, I realized I had let people into my hurt and it felt good to share that and feel the love and care from them.  But more importantly as we laughed and talked (and with some of them we even “chased” the clouds that were swirling in the sky :D) – I discovered that I had let people back in and it felt good.  God had healed my broken heart.  And that this same group of women that were my Christian community last spring, as they prayed for Deanna (and I) were truly still that today.  

I have no reason to go through life, hiding my hurt, fearing the next hurt (or making SURE it doesn’t happen).  God does not want that for any of us.  We were created to be in community with others and  when we truly experience that type of love and care from people we are living a part of the Christian life that God truly desires for us.  What a gift.  I was going to end this with the hope that you experience this today. But on second thought…. I hope that you ARE Christ’s love to someone else today.