Monday, November 22, 2010

A Child Shall Lead Them

“Happy Birthday! I hope you have a great day!” I read the words and my heart stopped as my body felt a cold sweat. Reading the words you would never have guessed that the birthday girl had “uninvited” her to the party that most of the girls in her class went to. I was not able to say those words to the birthday girl…. But this young lady could. And when I asked her about it, she said… “Well, I hope that she did, it was her birthday after all.”


I looked at this young girl on the threshold of her teen years. All I could think of was Isaiah 11:6 – “The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.”

I have watched her grow from this tiny little baby girl, who followed 3 older brothers. I have watched her go through 5 years of ridicule, because she had to have her 4 front teeth removed and she had the 1st grade “all gums” smile all those years. I have watched her be stepped on, pushed out and excluded, bouncing from one friend to another, trying to find a safe place to land. A safe place to share her heart. A place that could be trusted. This mother’s heart ripped and tore each time that she was hurt… it seemed I felt it 10 times worse than she did. She bounced back each time.

She found that safe place in the past year. She found it in 3 young ladies who have found the friend in her that I knew was there all along. They found in her someone who made them laugh and cared and brought joy to their lives. She found a home for her thoughts, feelings and her heart.

But more importantly she found a “forever” place to land in the One who binds our wounds and heals the broken-hearted. She found the One who loves her unconditionally. She found the One who loves her just the way she is… because He created her just the way she is. That was His plan all along. I have had the wonderful privilege of watching her grow into such a beautiful young woman with a heart like her Father’s. With eyes that see what others don’t see. With a heart that loves in ways that amaze me. With a forgiving spirit that outshines me many times.

She will walk out the door to school this morning. She will walk back into the school where the school week ended 3 days ago in much pain for her. She will be ok, I know. Because she has an army of people praying for her today. She has a Father who “will command his angels concerning [her] to guard [her] in all your ways.”

As I was typing that last sentence I found out from my very excited son that school has been cancelled today (due to the ice we are experiencing here). Isn’t God good? To give her one more day? To give things one more day for the excitement of the party to calm down?

Father, thank you for your love and care over us. How everything that happens to us in this life, only comes to us after it has been through your hands. You planned our days long ago; you knew where each of us would be this day, at this time. You knew what we would be experiencing right now at this moment. Thank you for being the God we read about in Psalm 91, Psalm 55, Psalm 56, Psalm 103 and many more Psalms that speak to the needs in our lives and the praise that overflows from our hearts. We love you so…

Monday, October 25, 2010

Pulled From The Pit

"Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name….He redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.”   Psalm 103:1,4

“Back to reality”.  That was the status of a friend of mine on Facebook this morning.  What is reality?  It was 6 months ago today that my dear friend, Deanna, lost her battle with cancer, but gained victory over death.  Those of us who loved her had our reality changed, we have a new reality.   For me, it has been a very different 6 months.  I have sunk to the pit of depression, though few people knew it, because I really isolated myself from other people.  The pain was very deep, much deeper than I imagined it would be.  And I let very few people into my life, withdrawing from many people.

Recently I was asked to share the story of our friendship with a group of women.  I realized during the writing of that talk, that God has healed me much more than I even realized.  Right after Deanna died, I vowed I would never become that close to someone again.  It was just too painful to think about.  The pain of losing someone that you love so much and was such a big part of your life was much greater than I even realized. 

Two days ago as I shared this story with these women and spent time with these good friends as we prepare for a spiritual weekend that we are working at in a few weeks.  I realized the truth of the words that Alfred Lord Tennyson's wrote:
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all

I am humbled and amazed at the realization over the weekend that God has healed my broken heart much more than I even imagined.  I rejoice that I have felt that love, even though I “lost” it (for a time).  As I laughed, talked and cried with these women, I realized I had let people into my hurt and it felt good to share that and feel the love and care from them.  But more importantly as we laughed and talked (and with some of them we even “chased” the clouds that were swirling in the sky :D) – I discovered that I had let people back in and it felt good.  God had healed my broken heart.  And that this same group of women that were my Christian community last spring, as they prayed for Deanna (and I) were truly still that today.  

I have no reason to go through life, hiding my hurt, fearing the next hurt (or making SURE it doesn’t happen).  God does not want that for any of us.  We were created to be in community with others and  when we truly experience that type of love and care from people we are living a part of the Christian life that God truly desires for us.  What a gift.  I was going to end this with the hope that you experience this today. But on second thought…. I hope that you ARE Christ’s love to someone else today.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Peace God Provides

John 14:27


Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.


We moved to another house in July, still in our same town, just a different house. When we bought this house, we felt very strongly that God was leading us to this house, for the purpose of giving people who needed “shelter” and place to stay. The economy is still not the best in our area and the housing market has been in “park” for about 6 months now, so we currently own 2 houses. Our kids have long begged for a home at “the lakes” (about an hour from us) and we have always told them that ‘no, we can’t afford 2 houses”. Now we own 2 houses so they are wondering why we have said we can’t and now we do. Our answer? Just because we do, doesn’t mean we can. *smile*


Throughout the past few months I have had my doubts, times of fear, times when I questioned whether we did the right thing, times of an absence of peace in my life. Then Ju Chan arrived in the US and needed a home and without question we knew he was supposed to live with us. We did not want to receive anything financially for allowing Ju Chan to live with us, however, his father insisted and wired money to us for Ju Chan’s care. God provided. Last week a man that we attended college with us contacted us, he needs a place to rent in our town during the week, would we rent our home to him? God provided.  Two days ago I began a new job.  This one is fewer hours and more pay.  God provided.  We made the first double house payment last week and I am truly stand amazed at how God is providing for us in tangible ways. Why am I so amazed? God’s deepest desire is to love and care for his children. God’s deepest desire is to deepen my relationship with him.


After a few “quiet” weeks with only one showing, we have had 3 showings in the past two days. As I opened the house yesterday for the realtors, I realized I have complete peace right now with this situation. God knows. He knows my needs. He knows the plan. He does not promise an absence of hardship in our lives, He promises that HE will never be absent.

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Least of These

Three weeks ago today we welcomed a young man into our home from Seoul, South Korea. We had first heard of this young man 3 days before when our church sent out an email with a special request for a young man (22 yrs old) who had arrived in the United States earlier that day to attend the college where my husband is employed. He had arrived that day on campus with his younger brother (15 yrs old), who was registered to attend the high school that our kids attend. However because of “glitch” in communication - there had been no housing arrangements made for the younger brother.

I read the email from our church while on a break at work. I immediately thought that I needed to talk to my husband (Mike) about that. 45 minutes later Mike stopped in at my work and asked if I had received an email. I said yes, and he said without hesitation, “I think we need to do that.”

We had almost full and immediate support from our kids on this decision. In explaining it to them we used these verses from Matthew 25:35-36 -- For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

We have 2 sons the same ages as Ju Chan and his brother. Mike and I could very easily place ourselves into their situation and wanted to do what we would want people to do for our family if the situation was reversed.

It has been an interesting 3 weeks since Ju Chan arrived to our home. We took a “crash course” in the Korean culture (a.k.a. surf the web), so that we could better welcome him to the US and to our family. We have tried to teach him about the way we live and the American culture. And at times it does seem overwhelming.  The language barrier has been just that at times… a barrier.

It is amazing to me - the things that we say or do (as Americans) that really make very little sense and sound even more odd to have to explain to someone who really has no idea what something means. For example: I believe I really scared Ju Chan two weeks ago when I told him it was not a problem at all for me to “run him over” to his brother. You might understand what I meant by that (drive him over to his brother). But the look on Ju Chan’s face told me he HOPED he did not hear me correctly.

Many things have come back to me from my past that are helping me today. The many trips that I took to the country of Honduras, leading mission trips for teens, has been very helpful in learning to communicate without words or with very few words, where there is a communication barrier.

Actions speak loudly in some situations.  I am reminded of the quote by St. Francis of Assisi -- “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”  As I said in the previous post: what do my actions say to others, about who Jesus is?

We are making progress with Ju Chan and our family is learning a lot of different things through this whole experience.  Such as: after Ju Chan made us a Korean meal two weeks ago -- Koreans prefer that their food be VERY spicy.  I think my lips/mouth burned for two days after that meal. :)
 
Despite the ability to communicate with him clearly, our kids have taken him in as a sibling and have become very protective of him.  I ask for your prayers for Ju Chan as he continues to adjust to living here in the U.S. and for our family as we continue to adjust to adding him to our family. Thanks!

Matthew 25:40 - The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Friday, September 10, 2010

Who Do You Say That I Am?

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians.

Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

- Mohandas Gandhi

The email came from a friend of mine, with the subject line: “Here’s where I always have a problem”…. So I knew it was going to be another good discussion with her. Even though she never actually said the quote, her email ran along the lines of this famous quote by Mohanda Gandhi. I’ve been thinking about this email and quote ever since I received it. We did have a great discussion, too.

This email and conversation with my friend also raised a lot of questions in my mind, things I have been “chewing” on ever since. These questions have convicted me to take a look at myself. How is that people can claim to be followers of Christ and yet, not look one bit like Him? I know that there have been times when I looked NOTHING like Christ, in my actions or words…. And I never paused to think about how others might see Christ, if I claimed to be a follower of Christ.

At youth group the other night we talked about a theme for year. We listened to several songs and read some scriptures to go with the songs. We were searching for a theme for our year… who do we want to be known as? What does it mean to “live the life”? What does it mean to BE Christian? What does it mean to love as Jesus loved? One of the songs we listened to was Lincoln Brewster’s new song “Reaching For You” [Video quality not the best, but you can hear the song quite well]. A great discussion followed that song on how these kids sometimes feel “persecuted” for going to the church that they go to or being labeled some type of Jesus Freak when they live with integrity. It was at this time that a very wise young man said: do you think people even realize that they need God? That statement blew me away.

How often do I live like God really doesn’t matter?

How often do I live like I don’t really need God?

How often do I live like all that really matters is "today"?

How many times do I confuse people who really need to see Jesus in my life, by living in a way that they do not see Jesus in me?

Our words and actions are on display. They “tell” who Jesus is to those who know I am a Christian and to those who do not know I am a Christian. What is my life saying about Jesus? What picture do other people see?



[The Lincoln Brewster video is from last weekend at Lifelight - a free 3 day music festival located about an hour from me.]

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Yahweh

Yahweh – A friend of mine had a life changing experience on an Iowa highway a year and a half ago. While listening to a favorite Chris Tomlin song “Yahweh”, she was involved in a head-on collision. The accident left her with a “Y” shaped scar on her leg. [Sidenote: I love how she titled the blog entry "The 'Y' Scar" - how many times don't we ask "Why?" in regards to our 'scars'?]  You can read more about her scar here.  Since the accident she sees the world differently.  Yahweh saved her life, and she now sees the letter “Y” in many different places. Her God story has influenced me and I, too, look for “Y”’s. 


My oldest son, Ryan, is in Alaska this summer, serving as a volunteer at Victory Ministries of Alaska. He spends each day capturing the experiences and memories in pictures and video for the camp. During his free time, he does a lot of hiking and is taking some beautiful pictures! This morning, as I was looking at new pictures that Ryan posted on his Facebook page,  I began to see a “Y” in many of the pictures. The mountains seemed to bow down in worship, singing their praises to God, revealing God’s glory. A few words kept going through my mind as I scanned through the pictures of all that God has created for us to enjoy! “ From the beginning of time…. Yahweh, YOU reign forever, age to age You are still the same. Beautiful! Glory and praise to YOU, oh God!”

Psalm 72:19 – “Praise be to his glorious name forever; may the whole earth be filled with his glory. Amen and Amen.”
Lamentations 5:19 - “You, O LORD, reign forever; your throne endures from generation to generation.”

A song written by Hillsong entitled “Yahweh” came to my mind and as I looked at Ryan’s pictures this morning I listened to that song. I found myself breathless - in awe at the beauty of all the things that God has created for us to enjoy. Yahweh (Jehovah) – the God who provides and protects. The God who will never leave us. The God who is everything that we need. The God who satisfies us. The God who heals us. The God who brings beauty from the ashes. The God who creates all things for HIS glory – including you and I.

I pray that throughout your day, you will experience times when Yahweh leaves you breathless at the beauty of His creation.  Consider that this God - who created all things - is the same God then as now and this God delights in YOU and absolutely loves when you "see" Him all around you.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

On Loving "Them"

Differences – Something has been on my mind the past few days. I recently heard a comment having to do with accepting other people who believe (if they believe) differently that I do. How do we accept them? I think the better question is why would we NOT accept them? God’s love and grace is for “them” just as it is for me. While on earth Jesus did not make any distinctions between the “good” people and the “bad” people. He didn’t make distinctions between what people believed or didn’t believe. What people did or didn’t do. He loved - all people right where they were, as they were. He didn’t approach others to necessarily address the differences, he saw others as people and found the similarities. I know that is what he calls us to do.


So my response to the question: How do we accept “them”? Find the common threads that you have with others, start there. Paul talks about this in 1 Corinthians 9.   When we look for the common threads that we have with another person, God has the opportunity to piece together a beautiful tapestry. The beauty will only be seen once we have taken the time to sew together a few of the strands that we have in common. I know that I would not be who I am today, had I not taken the time to get to know people who in many ways are not like me. I am thankful for those that saw me as someone who was different than them, yet took the time to develop the common threads that we had. Secondly, I think we need to get rid of the “us” and “them” language. Let’s be “us” together on the same journey. Love as you want to be loved. Grace as you want to be “graced”. Forgive as you want to be forgiven.” For you and I were once “them” to “them” and still today are “them” to some.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Still Standing

I know... it's been a while.  I’ve been in a “funk” lately. I hate funks. They are easy to slip into and hard to get out of. I was spending more time listening to the words that are untrue and less time listening to the Voice of Truth. I felt lonely and down, so what did I do? I withdrew from people. Honestly I think that is the dumbest thing to do. But more often than not it is the easiest thing to do… sometimes it just seems it takes too much energy to get in touch with people or to talk about what you’re feeling.

Eventually, I did share honestly with someone how lonely I was and how worthless I felt. She set me straight in no uncertain terms - her words were laced with a ton of love and truth. Satan knows where to shoot his arrows into each of us. He knows where we are weak. He knows what will paralyze us. He knows what will stop us, sometimes before we even “start”. He is on the look-out for those he can devour. He seeks to kill and destroy.

I found the words in 1 Peter 5 very interesting. Verse 7 begins with telling us where to put our worry. “Cast all your anxiety on Him [Jesus]”. Then Peter goes on to say something that at first appeared odd to me. “Be self-controlled and alert.” But when I thought about that, it means don’t let your mind wander and make up things that are not there. Don’t let things that are not true, become “truth” to you. Keep control of your mind and your thoughts, don’t let it wander and begin to believe things that simply are not true. Be alert. Satan realizes if he can "destroy" a Christian today that is for sure one less person he needs to worry about impacting the world for God. [We do know that we have the victory over Satan, praise the Lord, his attacks are temporary, God's kingdom is eternal!]

Ephesians 6 gives us the best advice we will ever get on how to fight off Satan’s attacks and schemes. Verse 11 “Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.” Use everything that God gives to fight off the attacks that are sure to come. It’s a choice to put on the armor that God gives. Finally, so that you can STAND. The word “stand” is used 4 times within 3 verses. Another verse uses the word ‘stand’. 1 Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

These are important words for our lives today. Cast. Be Self-controlled. Alert. Put on. Stand. And most importantly: stay in the “pack”, don’t be found alone and on your own. We need each other! Who needs you today? Or is it you that needs someone today?

Friday, June 11, 2010

De-clutter Your Life

About a month ago, I wrote about “Treasures of the Heart”. Since that time our family has bought another house. Buying another house, means that we need to sell our house. This also means we need to de-clutter our house and get rid of some of the junk that has accumulated over the years.

So for one week we worked to got rid of some of the things that we could “never do without out” or “never part with”. We are now living in an uncluttered house, a house that is clean and free of the junk that just took up space, but had no purpose. I believe that we need to do this regularly, rather than every 10 years or so. My husband and I helped each other in deciding what each of us no longer needed. We had to remind each other of that several times. He would say to me: why would you keep that? And I would have to answer with a “good enough” reason. In the end we both realized if we hadn’t used it in a year and it was not a holiday item – pitch it! De-cluttering is so freeing and you will find yourself in a place of less stuff, more space and a place for everything that you really do need to keep.

It was amazing to me the stuff we had accumulated. The things that in the past were a treasure. But, as we worked our way through cleaning out our closets, we wondered “why did we keep this?” Or even worse “What is it?” :)

Isn’t that how our spiritual lives can be, too? We keep the old “treasures”. Hold onto things that seem to have so much value or maybe just something we cannot let go of. So we pack up these memories, these events, sometimes these are painful memories or events. But we pack up these “things” that we cling to. We put them in boxes and store them in closets of our lives. “Just in case” or “maybe someday”.


I believe that periodically it is good to unpack the boxes of our personal and spiritual lives and make some decisions. We all have things that we keep in the “box of our life” that really don’t need to be in our lives. In regards to these things consider this: Does it serve a good purpose? Is it a necessity for my life? Does it really need to be kept?

Maybe with the help of someone who knows you well, I would encourage you to periodically unpack the things in your “lifebox”. Make some tough decisions and then get rid of the things that are just filling your life, but are not beneficial to your life. The things that just take up space and keep us bound to something that has no real meaning. The painful events and memories that we hang onto, when it would be so much better to let them go and move on.

De-clutter your life. I really believe you will be glad that you did.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Andrew

I shed a tear or two last week for my son, Andy. We were privileged to hear his Senior presentation [a time when the student shares his high school experience with his parents] Also, this past Sunday we celebrated his public profession of his faith in God.   [Andy is wearing the orange and black shirt in the picture.]  My heart was exploding with gladness and gratefulness to the One who changes our lives and enters our heart when we ask him to. Andy is named in part for the disciple Andrew in the Bible. Andrew appears very few times in the Bible, yet almost all of those times he is bringing someone to Jesus. [Wouldn’t that be a neat thing to be remembered for?]

Andy’s life verse is Jeremiah 29:11-14 – “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD.” We prayed for Andy to seek hard after God. And he did. However, God also sought Andy. He came looking for Andy. He drew Andy to Himself. While we prayed - God was at work. God is faithful.

The name Andrew means “strong, manly, warrior” and trust me when I say this - he has lived out that name.   Andy has always been strong-willed, in the good sense and in the “not so good” sense. He has always cared for people and been a compassionate person, to those who were hurting. He has made people laugh with a smart comment or funny story. Andy has also been a warrior and I have cried for him as I watched him battle some things in life, things that were very challenging for him to walk through.

Andy graduates from high school in two days. He plans to pursue a double major in Digital Media Production and Computer Science. A magnet on my fridge says this: “There are two things you give your children: one is roots, the other is wings.” We gave him roots and now it’s time for us to give him his wings.

Andy: go out and do everything for God’s glory. Use the gifts God has given you to bless others and to help others see God. God knows the plans He has for you, Andy. Continue to call on Him and pray to Him. Continue to seek Him with all your heart and know that I will be here praying. Love you, Andy. Love, mom

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

More Than Conquerors

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?” -- Romans 8:35


It is interesting to me that this verse starts out with “who” and ends with several forms of “what”. All of the things listed are not things that would come from God, but we know that they are a result of sin in the world. And I believe that the “who” here is satan.

Think with me about Job 1 and 2 – where a conversation occurs between God and satan. Job is not even aware of this conversation, but he definitely feels the impact of this conversation. He suffered tremendous loss! He suffered tremendous pain. He experienced things that went against God’s character and did not fit with what he knew to be God’s character. Job came to a crisis of faith and belief in God. Through it all, Job is “put to the test” and out of the ashes he rises. The book of Job tells us that Job never “charged God with wrongdoing”.

I wonder today how many times conversations go on between God and satan, where I am the center of the conversation? I may never know, however, I have the “privilege” of having read Job 1, to know that this conversation between God and satan did occur. Job did not have that. In the book of Romans, chapter 8, Paul uses powerful words to answer his own question about “who can separate us from the love of Christ?” Pauls says: “NO! In all things we are MORE than conquerors!” “For I am convinced…” “Nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God”

If, today you find yourself in the midst of what seems like a “train wreck” in your life. If you are dealing with things that are causing you to question all that you know to believe and understand about God and his character… take comfort and be encouraged by these verses from Romans 8. The temporary things of this life will not separate you from the Creator of all things. God is love and He loves you so much more than you can imagine. And you never know - but there may very well have been a conversation about you. Lean into God’s loving arms. Let him carry you through this time in your life and use the strength he gives to help you rise above the “train wreck” and be more than a conqueror!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Treasures of the Heart

Her words hit my core. “Letting go is so hard”. In Ecclesiastes 3 it says “there is a time for everything.” For me personally, the past couple of years have consisted of “letting go” of one thing or another. Letting go of habits. Letting go of pain. Letting go of my plans. Letting go of people. Letting go of the “trophy’s” of this life. Letting go of the identity that I had. Letting go of old regrets. Letting go of bitterness. Letting go of misconceptions about someone else. Letting go of resentment. And, yes, I have found that letting go is so hard. There is a time for everything. Even a time to “let go”. Some things were harder to let go of, than others. I do not see what God sees. God sees from the beginning to the end. He sees “the whole scope”.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 – “God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” God’s word tells us that there is a time for everything and God makes it beautiful “for its own time”.

But oftentimes I am a like a little kid that doesn’t want to share a toy. I am not about to let go of something that is “MINE”. I fight and I cling and I hold onto it as long as I can. When I try to store up treasures here on earth, sometimes it gets downright ugly. Yes, it is hard to let go. I would be lying if I said I love letting go of things that I have long desired or become very attached to.

Matthew 6 tells us "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” God has planted eternity into our hearts. He created us to desire and yearn for eternity with him. I need to daily remind myself to let go of the treasures I have here. The things that I think give my life purpose. The things I think I need to fulfill my life. The things I give my heart to. For where my heart is…you will also find what I treasure. I think it is time for a treasure hunt.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Love Is...

Where does the time go? We were very young as we stood in the front of that church that day in May 1984. Each 20 years old. We said our vows: For better, for worse. In richer and in poorer. In sickness and in health. We promised to encourage each other to develop the gifts God has given us. We said: “I love you”. Then we said “I do.” And we stepped into our future together. Not really understanding what true love really is or even more so the verses we had chosen for our wedding day, from Colossians 3.

These well known verses from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 give us a glimpse of what love is. "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Today I have a much better understanding of what love really is, because of these past 26 years.Real life helps us begin to understand what love is.  Real life helps us learn to love in the way God desires. 

Love is sacrifice. Love is not just a “feeling”. Love is crying together. Love is praying together for that much desired child. Love is celebrating that new job. Love is saying I am sorry [no matter what the movie “Love Story” said]. Love is saying I forgive you. Love is rejoicing over the birth of each child God gives you. Love is compromise. Love is compassion. Love is kindness. Love is realizing that we all make mistakes and showing grace when someone else does, or receiving it when you do. Love is humility. Love is gentle. Love is putting yourself in their shoes. Love is encouraging someone to be all that God has made them to be. Love is putting the other first. Love grows silently, and suddenly you realize you would never want to be without that person.

Today my husband and I celebrate 26 years of marriage. We have had many reasons to rejoice, we have had some sorrow, some pain and some trials. Today I know without a doubt that I would do it all over again. Thank you, Mike, for walking this journey with me. I love you.


Monday, May 10, 2010

Celebrate This Day

Psalm 118:24 - "This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Don't miss what God is doing in your life because all you can focus on is what you wish He was doing. Celebrate THIS day! – Ron Hutchcraft


I read those words last week in an email devotional that I receive every day. They opened my eyes to something that I had been missing. And I would have missed those words if I had not slowed down enough to read all the way to the end of the devotional. Sometimes we think we know what we are looking for and where God wants us or what he wants to do with us. And we really haven’t got a clue what is really important, so we stay busy doing all these good things. But “busyness” for God is not really doing what God wants or intends for our lives to be about. Matthew 11:28-30 - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." What can we learn from Jesus? He did take time away, alone, to pray. He waited for his Father’s timing.

I am in a time in my life right now where I am seeking where God wants me….what He wants to do with me. I was so busy looking for places He might want me to be and what I “wished He was doing”. I was forgetting that each day is His. Each day is a gift. I trust and claim the words of Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I think the one thing that God really wants us to do is sit at his feet…. To just listen. To just spend time with him. And not wishing for other things to be happening in our lives.

I encourage you to join me in taking some time today to slow down, to listen and to celebrate THIS day.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I Am Counting On God

Early in the morning the prayer was spoken. It had been a sleepless night. “God, I don’t even KNOW what to pray for anymore.” One word came clearly: “Joy”. I want joy. I want to choose true joy, not just happiness. True - feel it deep down inside – joy.

A favorite song of mine is “Counting on God” [#1 in my playlist].  This song says it this way: “Joy unspeakable that won’t go away and just enough strength to live for today. So I never have to worry what tomorrow will bring ‘cause my faith is on solid rock. I am counting on God!” Jared Anderson wrote this song after his church went through a very difficult year. This is what he says about the writing of the song.

“Counting on God” written by Jared Anderson
This song has come to the forefront in the life of our church because of the recent trials we’ve had to face. The testing of our faith has made us more resolved to endure and overcome the sufferings for the all-surpassing glory of God. It is not only our obstacles that will be defeated, but the Kingdom of our God will overtake the kingdom of this world. This song helps us put our battles into proper perspective. The evidence that this is taking place is seen in the transformation of our lives and community. We are nothing like we used to be.

"Counting on God" has become my prayer. How does that kind of joy come? There are many things we can count on God for. This morning I was drawn to these verses Psalm 18.

"You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."

Those verses contain a lot of wisdom and power. GOD keeps our lamp burning. We can advance against a troop [whatever we’re ‘fighting’] with God’s help. The walls in front of us CAN be scaled with His strength. Then I read these words: “He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.”  He is a shield for us...For all who take refuge in Him. To me that implies a choice. He is always a shield around me.  I choose:  If I will pull into his safe harbor and let Him be what He really wants to be for me.  If I will take refuge in Him and find peace and rest.

He is the oil in my lamp. He is my helper. He is my shield. He is my refuge. He is my Rock. He is my strength. It’s a choice to do it my way or to count on God as my refuge. It’s a choice to take what He so readily offers.


[Note: The church that Jared Anderson was a member of is New Life Church, Colorado Springs, CO.  It is a story of hope and rising above, despite deep pain and heartache. Click here to read the story.]

Monday, May 3, 2010

The New Normal

I have often heard the phrase “the new normal”. That phrase is often said when something changes, and things how you knew them to be will never be what they were before the change. Change is all around us. I look out at the new leaves on the trees, showing me that spring has arrived [finally!]. I have been buying new clothes for the kids. They are growing and changing. I read back through some of my old journals – I have changed. Relationships change. People come into our lives and sometimes they go.

Things change… we learn to live “the new normal” many times in our lives.

Change can sometime be viewed as a bad thing. And sometimes it can be. Yet, many times change is a good thing – even the changes that are painful at the time. Winter to spring is probably my favorite change that occurs every year. The snowy, cold, strong winds of winter give way to warm, sunshiny days that reveal new buds on every tree. Our lives can be like that, too.

 If we let them - the harsh “winters” of our lives can lead to something even more beautiful: springtime in our lives. Where we live with the expectation of what will be.

Throughout the changing seasons in our lives; in the ebb and flow of life, sometimes it does seem like we are trying to find a foundation [a sure place to stand] while on shifting sand. The story from Matthew 7 of the wise man and the foolish man reminds us where to “plant” our feet, where to build our life. God is the solid rock. One of my favorite songs [“In Christ Alone by: Travis Cottrell] includes the phrase “On Christ the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.” He is the “sure” thing when changes come into our lives.

Hebrews 13:8 reminds us where to put our hope during those times of shifting sand - “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” He will never move. He will always “be there”. He is always the same. He will never change.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Victory Parade

I am thinking a lot about Heaven these last few weeks; and especially since Deanna entered eternity two days ago. She had battled for a long time this disease that slowly took over her body. She was in so much pain here on this earth, yet in the end whether she “beat” the disease or died from the disease; she was victorious – either way. I have this feeling that she danced her way into Heaven, announcing the whole way that she was “Here for the party!” That is just the way she was.  Now, she sees and knows what we so often wonder about.


Revelations 3:5 (NLT) “All who are victorious will be clothed in white. I will never erase their names from the Book of Life, but I will announce before my Father and his angels that they are mine”.

I also love how the The Message Version of the Bible puts this verse:
"Conquerors will march in the victory parade, their names indelible in the Book of Life. I'll lead them up and present them by name to my Father and his Angels.”


Victorious conquerors marching in the victory parade, led to the Father and presented by name. WOW! Imagine that in your mind. Yes, I miss her [very much], but I would never wish for her to be back here, when I know that what she is experiencing now is so much better, than she was experiencing here!



Her eyes closed here and they opened to this:

 Revelation 21
 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone.  And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
 I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
 And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life.  All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children.


She was welcomed into heaven by her loving Father, with open arms. And He made her new. A new cancer-free body. No more pain. No more tears. No more crying. All of that gone forever! Praise God! I find peace in that. I long for that day. Until that day we are to keep telling all who are thirsty about the Water of Life, the God who draws us to Him, so that we may live with Him forever.


And Deanna… I am sure that crown looks great on you!


Monday, April 26, 2010

Deanna's Crown

With 2 Timothy 4:7-8 in my mind, my very last words spoken to Deanna last week Friday were: “Deanna, I love you. You changed my life and I will never forget you. You will remain in my heart forever. Now…. go get your crown.”

I am not surprised that it is raining here today. My heart is heavy. God knows my pain. God knows many people hurt today, because Deanna has finished her race. I am amazed at God’s timing in Deanna’s passing. We sang several songs about God’s grace in my church yesterday, we also prayed fervently for Deanna and those who love her. Grace was the hardest thing for Deanna to grasp (not like I fully understand it either, though). One song in particular sticks in my mind today “Grace Like Rain” by Todd Agnew. The words to that song are very similar to “Amazing Grace”. The chorus says: “Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me. Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away”. After praying for Deanna and while we were singing this song, Deanna slipped away and entered eternity, to claim her crown of righteousness. Clean. Free of pain. A new body. Hallelujah!

I have been thinking about Deanna a lot today. A friend wrote these words on my Facebook wall about Deanna: “From what you said about her she loved life and apologized to no one for enjoying each minute. I imagine her enjoying heaven to its fullest too. She will keep them all on their toes.”

And yes that was Deanna. She was a good, honest person, who treated people as she wanted to be treated. She loved life! What you saw was what you got. If she was unhappy, you knew it. If she was happy, you knew it. She never “played the games” that people can play. She loved her boys and all she ever really wanted was to be the best mom to them and to help them find their way. She was a very good person, I will miss her dearly. She taught me about the kind of person that I wanted to be. I am a better person for having known her.

She was a great friend. These words describe who she was to me:
A true friend is one who
Knows you as you really are,
Understands where you've been,
Accepts who you've become,
And still gently invites you to grow.

Rest in peace, Deanna. You fought a good fight. You gave a valiant effort as you pursued victory in trying to conquer the battle you faced. You never gave up. Your body could take nothing more. You exhausted everything possible in your fight. You will never be forgotten. And remember…. I want a tan house, right next to yours. See you later, my friend.


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Monday, April 12, 2010

The Great Physician

As I continue to think about my daughter’s doctor appointment. I began to process it even more. I am so thankful for doctors who do all they can to heal our bodies. They are educated, experienced people who have been trained to heal people.

However, I know the Great Physician. I marvel at the way that the Great Physician works in ways we do not comprehend, oftentimes it takes a second look [or 3rd, 4th or 5th]. Not only can he heal our bodies, he heals us in ways that no doctor ever could. He gives peace in the midst of the storm. He reconciles people to himself, with his grace that draws us in. He remains when it seems we have lost everything else. Yesterday in church we sang a song with these words: “You were, You are, You will always be!” That brought so much comfort to me! In the shifting sands of the things that we sometimes base our lives on, God is the SURE, FIRM foundation, in my past, for my present and in my future!

I have a friend who is battling cancer and there have been a few times where she has been really sick and it has been a scary time. It is really hard to watch her go through this and to see someone that I love so deeply, one who is an "everyday" friend, go through so much and be in in so much pain. In the midst of all of this, I am reminded [again] that God truly is all I need. I have felt his comfort, I have felt his love, and I have truly felt his arms around me as he holds me close to him. I can say that I have felt all of this in the times when it is just God and I - times when I am crying out to him, telling him how much it hurts. Then, it seems, simply to show me the deep love he has for me; he brings people to me that show me his love and care through their words and actions.

When life hurts, it can be so easy to isolate ourselves and just not let anyone in. However, as my daughter needed “a friend” last week at the doctor’s office - it is so important to have people come alongside us at those times in our lives when we go through painful times. People who will acknowledge our pain. People who will hold our hand and say “it’s ok”. People who will let us show our hurt, and support us to help ease our pain. I do have people who are doing all of these things for me. I have been surrounded and supported by a community of God followers. These people have embraced my friend who is battling cancer. They have prayed for her, loved and cared for her - a woman they do not even know. That is our Great Physician at work!

Which brings to mind these verses from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4: “ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” The comfort that we receive during our “troubles” is comfort from God, as He comforts us, which sometimes that comfort comes through his people. God has given me friends who have supported a friend through cancer. These people truly “hear” the words that I do not say. They “get it”. There is one woman who I did not know until just a few months ago, I have never met her, yet she has been a very big encouragement to me, because she “knows” what I am going through – she has been there. God has given me friends who have experienced deep hurt and pain that cannot be explained, these friends understand. This post today is written as encouragement to you, to be “those friends” to those who need “those friends”. Who could that be in your life today?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Refiner and Purifier

I had told her it would hurt a bit but she would be ok and she could squeeze my hand if she needed to. It was painful for her. She squeezed my hand tighter and tighter. I told her, “It’s ok, I know it hurts – just keep squeezing my hand tight.” My daughter and I were at the doctor to have a wart burned off of her finger. The doctor had explained what would be happening. He would apply the Q tip with liquid nitrogen to the wart and hold it there for a short time. He would do this several times. He explained that if he did not apply it long enough, it would not do what it was supposed to do. If he did it too long, it would not be good for her finger.

This visit to the doctor got me thinking about a few things. As I reflect on this doctor’s visit, I am reminded of a verse - Malachi 3:3 - "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver". I thought of the similarities between what my daughter went through and some of the painful things we go through in life.

The doctor knew what he was doing. He understood that it would hurt, but he also understood that it needed to be done to remove this “impurity” in my daughter’s finger. The doctor stayed with us, during this time. He didn’t hand my daughter the Q tip and leave the room. He was right there; he sat there and applied the pressure needed to remove this “impurity” in my daughter’s finger.

God knows what he is doing, too. He understands that it will hurt, but he also knows what needs to be done to remove the impurities in our lives. God stays with us the whole time. He doesn’t hand us the “tools” [that he knows need to be used] and leave us alone - "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver". He sits right there and applies the pressure that is needed to remove the impurity, knowing how much we can take and when it will be too much.

I am going through a particularly painful time. It hurts. I feel the pressure. I feel the pain. I also know that God has not left me. He knows my breaking point. He understands that it hurts. I know that this time will not last forever. I know that God knows what he is doing and he knows that this pain will produce something better. I can’t always see that, but I know that he knows the “refining” process. God may have me in the hottest part of the fire, but he will not leave me and loves me too much to let it destroy me.

This reminds me of a story I read many years ago, I wish I remembered where I read it, or who wrote it, but I do not remember. I will close with it today.

Refiner and Purifier

There was a group in a Bible study on the book of Malachi. As they were studying, they came across Malachi 3:3, which says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver". This verse puzzled them and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and report back to the group the next week.

That week she called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one holds the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames are hottest to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot. Then she thought again about the verse; "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver". She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered, "Yes, I not only have to sit there holding the silver, but I have to keep my eyes on it the entire time it is in the fire. If the silver is left even a moment too long in the flames, it will be destroyed."

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How Do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and He will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Grace For My Junk

“Do you know that God loves you and forgives all your sins?” Tears slid slowly down her cheeks. “I’m trying to believe that”, she said. She has not heard those words much in her lifetime. She knows where she has been and what she has done - just as I know where I have been and what I have done in my past. She does not understand grace and to be very honest - neither do I. But, if there is one thing I do know, it is this: God knows where we have been and what we have done, too, but he is not bothered by that. He cares about what we can be and where we are going.

We all come with our “junk”, stuff that we really do not want others to know about. Stuff we really want to shut the door on and try to forget about. The stuff that satan can use to “keep us down”, to keep us from being all that God wants us to be. Stuff that in reality God wants to hear about. God wants our junk. He knows all about our junk anyway.

2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us that His grace IS enough to cover all of our junk. “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." It is in our weakness, our admission that: “God, I don’t want to carry this anymore, I know that I need you”. It is when we come as we are, weak and sinful, that our all –powerful God can begin a miracle in our lives. But we have to let go of that junk and give it to Him. Won’t you come to God just as you are and give him your “junk”? Come today, come tomorrow and the next tomorrow and the next…